Vegan, Veggie Burger, Recipe, hummus, tomato, sriracha, hangry,

Sad Veggie Burger

(It’s actually suitable for veg%ns but we won’t mention the ve-jay-jay word so you don’t get traumatised by feeling the pressure to reject wartime ideals of nutrition.)




Crusty, nuclear-winter-white bread roll.

Frozen fake meat burger that people will say is carcinogenic despite less evidence for that than there is for Nessie.

Sriracha sauce. End of.

Olive oil spread (I can’t believe it’s not rancid yak butter).

Hummus with a dollop of some sort of garlic crap that you get charged extra for.

Ye Olde Dieter’s Nemesis – Lettuce leaves.


Mini, orange tomatoes (had to use those up).

Baked pea crisps, which look just as “toxic” on the nutrition label to anyone who is just informed enough to be detrimental to their own health, except they aren’t the same old thing we’ve been eating since Benny Hill was cutting edge.

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